Most of us have a number of fond memories of our first relationship. It is certainly not easy to forget those cute and cuddly Valentine’s Day gifts or those anniversary cards. Some of us would also have those innocent love letters stored somewhere in a deep corner of our cupboards. We vowed to a lifetime of togetherness , some of us are still together while some could not stand the test of time and situations. Along with all of these gifts, memories and pain, our first relationships also teach us some important lessons of love. What are they and have we learnt from them or do we continue to make the same mistake time and again? Here is a list that I could compile, see if you find something in common:
1. Expect less, Love more
Sounds easy enough, how then do we mess up? It is completely alright to expect great things from our partners. Trust me, our movie industry has heightened these feelings of love, compromise and sacrifice. Though we must understand that there is a big difference between reel life and real life of individuals. So, at one point when you find that your compromise and sacrifice is not being reciprocated in the same way, stop and observe if your partner is going through a difficult phase in life. Help, love more, stand tall and support, do not sit back and wait for your share of love, give more.
2. Love is not just about the Fun of It
We went into our relationships expecting days of laughter, joy, cuddles and so much more. We got them too but we also experienced disappointment, disapproval and anger. Love has a world of its own and like our world, there is joy and pain both in it. We learnt through failures that love is also about taking up responsibility, being accountable for our misdeeds and being the bigger person.
3. Jealousy is a Bane
Every one of us at some point in our lives have felt the pangs of intense jealousy. Does it do us any good? None at all but it happens and is difficult to control. Feeling jealous is normal but letting it take over our emotions, turning our ability to think with reason and logic to a blurry mess, is to be avoided. I am sure like me, many of you must have hurt our partners because of it and regretted it later. It is important therefore to curb this feeling in future relationships.
4. Lies are Your Enemies
Why not talk it out instead? You do not like something about what your partner did last night or maybe the new friend he has made, tell them. Do not lie and appear grumpy. Nobody can read your mind, no matter what they show in the movies, love isn’t about telepathy and how good a couple is at it. Communication is the backbone of a successful marital life and every amorous relationship.
5. Loyalty is a Must
Whenever in life, you are tempted by the prospect of being disloyal with your partner, stop and introspect. If any of you reading this faced an end to your relationship because of a betrayal on your part then you will understand how painful it is for the other person. In the relationships that you form later in life always remember that none of us like to be betrayed in love and since it is something close to our heart it tends to hurt a lot.
Lessons in patience and trust are a sure keep because they help us even in other avenues of our life.